As a moderator of the Emotional Eating Course community at IIN, one of the most common challenges I see students facing is how to coach clients who “just want to lose weight.” Clients often get stuck in the diet mentality, believing that the only way to lose weight is by restricting calories and depriving themselves, as it’s the only weight loss approach they’ve known. Therefore, they turn to a Health Coach expecting a rulebook or a meal plan, wanting to know what to eat, when to eat it, and how much to eat. Essentially, they’re seeking a quick fix. But as Health Coaches, we know that diets don’t work in the long run. Losing weight isn’t as simple as the “calories in, calories out” equation that many people focus on. Moreover, dieting makes people feel deprived, which can lead to overeating, guilt, shame, and a sense of hopelessness. So how can you coach clients to move away from diets and toward a more sustainable and nutritious approach to eating? Here are 12 suggestions to help clients abandon the diet mentality and open their minds to a more holistic view of weight loss and health:
- Start by asking about the client’s past dieting attempts. If a client comes to you to lose weight, chances are they’ve struggled to lose weight on their own, so explore that with them. Ask them to describe how dieting has served them in the past and how it has made them feel. Often, clients who have “failed” on diets have experienced their share of shame and frustration. Provide a space for them, show empathy, non-judgmental curiosity, and compassion as a way to establish trust, safety, and connection. Once the client emotionally connects with what didn’t work, they’ll be more open to exploring alternative approaches.
- Meet clients where they are. Leaving the diet mentality behind is a challenge for many people. It’s often deeply ingrained and can be a convenient distraction from other emotional struggles unrelated to food. As a Health Coach in Integrative Nutrition, it’s not your place to judge clients for their current mindset or eating habits. Your job is to listen, provide alternative perspectives, and help clients build a nurturing relationship with food that promotes health and satisfaction. Do this by modeling neutrality and approaching clients with a beginner’s mind.
- Offer information that can validate clients’ feelings of frustration. When working with clients, it’s generally not recommended to share information unless the client requests it. However, when it comes to helping clients abandon the diet mentality, it can be helpful to provide basic information to support why diets typically don’t work. Doing so can validate clients’ feelings of frustration. Here are some biological and psychological factors you can share with clients to explain why diets generally aren’t sustainable:
- Dieting can decrease metabolism. When the body detects a shortage of food, it works harder to retain fat. That’s why many people store more fat after finishing a diet. Additionally, the body learns to burn muscle when there’s not enough fat to burn for energy, and less muscle mass means a lower metabolism.
- Dieting can increase appetite. Restricting food intake and depriving the body of fats, proteins, and carbohydrates can disrupt hormonal balance and increase cravings.
- Dieting can increase stress. Dieting can be physically stressful when it leaves us feeling hungry and deprived, but it can also be mentally and emotionally stressful. It requires a great deal of mental energy, planning, calculation, and willpower to stay within the confines of a diet. Often, people feel anxious about what they can and can’t eat. Dieting can also motivate us to avoid social situations where “forbidden foods” are present, which can increase feelings of isolation.
- Dieting doesn’t address the emotional roots linked to eating. Dieting works as a Band-Aid – it’s a quick fix to an underlying issue that isn’t addressed. Because dieting ignores physical, psychological, and emotional needs, it doesn’t create satisfaction or holistic or sustainable health.
- Dieting can increase self-judgment. Many diets are quite dogmatic. And when we fail to adhere to a diet’s unrealistic rules, we feel guilty, powerless, frustrated, and ashamed. This can worsen the relationship we have with ourselves and lead to other self-destructive behaviors that take us away from health and well-being.
- Help clients connect with how they want to feel. You can ask questions like, “How would you feel if you could reach a healthy weight and maintain it?” and “How would your life change?” When you connect clients with the emotional benefits and rewards that will come from doing the work, they’ll feel more authentically motivated to stay committed to their goals.
- Ask clients if they’re open to an alternative approach to weight loss that has been shown to be more sustainable. As Health Coaches, we want to respect clients’ autonomy. Asking for permission from the client before presenting them with an alternative approach is a great way to keep the client in the driver’s seat, empowering them to take responsibility for their own health and happiness.
- Be clear about how you work with people. Once a client gives consent to try a new approach to weight loss, it’s time to explain how you work. You can say something like, “As a Health Coach, I consider all aspects of a person’s life and well-being when it comes to weight